Monday, February 22, 2010

Typos can be dangerously revealing things.

This just showed up in my inbox. Sounds like someone's crystal-meth induced discussion of spirituality.

Ah, California.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Testing the vortal

So a company I'm working for has this thing called a "Vortal". I want to test what it looks like, so I'm trying it here.

Insert pithiness at your wish or peril, in the wee tiny Vortal box. That may not appear until I get all the settings right.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Whore of Babble-on and on

Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Palin!

Oh is that too harsh? Perhaps I should say "the Sex Worker of Babble". But with the oral servicing she's giving a logically flaccid Republican ideology via lubricious talking points, McCain isn't the only John in the Godless Old Patriarchy.

Seriously, if reason and logic are part of God's heavenly legos from which the universe is built, and I believe they are - then this bitch is a blowtorch and a ballpeen hammer.

So Democrats, if you actually lose to Sarah, and the multiple heads of a nameless beast she's riding to uncertain acclaim - then you DESERVE to lose.

Friday, February 12, 2010


A title looking for people to mock.


So tired it's strange and almost frightening, but really more weird in that it's distinctly different, but otherwise doesn't feel that weird at all.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Shitholier Than Thou

Oh yeah? So you think your hometown was petty, ignorant, mean-minded, poverty-stricken, ugly and somehow bland and mundane also?

Well I grew up in Roselle, NJ. Beat that.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Seemingly the God of slackers, but really the god(s) of agnostics who'd rather not put any structure on the divine, and who consider the ultimate point really to spend attention on the present rather than the ultimately unknowable, anyway.

Seeing as we're here at all, and the universe requires quite a fair amount of active work just to make our existence possible, it would seem there has to be some kind of a benevolent (beneviolent?) Whatevah somewherehow.

But whether or not there is God(dess)(s)(es), it's still about doing right now with this life anyway.

Therefore and thus, Whatevah.

Monday, February 8, 2010

More audio a-sanity

It's not quite insanity, and it's a bit too fun to be perfectly sane. At least for me.

Just started setting up my Oxygen8 keyboard with Reason 4. Next stop Ableton.

The Setup

Ah, and here's another set of much-less formed riffseeds for about half an album that I've been tooling around with here.

Some Sing
Sweet Night
Job Intervoodoo

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shakespeare's Cumedies

An aspect of William Shakespeare which is much ignored by the easily-offended academia, has been his early work in porn.

Like many in the entertainment business, he had to do some less tasteful work before his big dream could take flight. Before his big break at the Globe Theatre, his titles included:

A Midsummer Night's Ream
The Merchant of Penis
Julius Seize Her
Tightass Androgynous
As You Lick It
Much Ado About Nutting
King Rear
Cleopatra Does Rome

He is also said to have performed in these plays, under the name of Long Bill Snakespeare.

Take heart, writers everywhere.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Busimess Devewhopper

The lie a developer tells to soften the impact of an upcoming business trainwreck that's just now becoming apparent.

Some substrains of this species include:
The devilwhopper. Example: "Why would anyone need more than 640k?" - Bill Gates
The divawhopper. Example: "The iPad is just awesome!" - Steve Jobs

The Carbohydra

An unfortunately non-mythical beast, which strikes by gradually overloading your midsection and/or upper thighs, until you are trapped within a lair containing a sofa, a television and a refrigerator.

It has many more than 7 heads, made of chips, bread, pasta, crackers, cake, cookies, pizza and more. Cut yourself off from a chip and seven more chips will take it's place...

Fleeing works, but is unfortunately not nearly as delicious.

It's allies are the Chocolate Minitaur and the M&Medusa. All of whom have a sworn enemy in the Tofu Manchu.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Christian Meth vs. Hippiecrisy

Christian Meth is defined as those things which Conservative Christian Civilian Persons (CCCP) go crazy for.

Hippiecrisy is defined as those things which hippies love, that in fact run entirely contrary to their stated goals.

Of course there's unfair and factless generalizations in both of these categories. That's what blogging is all about.

Christian Meth:
- Movies about white families
- Military invasion paranoia porn (see "Red Dawn", "24", "Left Behind", "Fox News")
- Ronald Reagan
- Music which is less culturally challenging than Lawrence Welk
- Sarah Palin (oh man, how they love them some Palin. Good God.)
- Completely disproved political talking points which are emotionally soothing (see "Tax cuts are always good", "Democrats hate the military", "Obama was born in Kenya", "It actually matters that Clinton got a blow job")
- That a fetus is absolutely a human being from the instant of conception - but ask them if they'd save 4 impregnated embryos in petri dishes over a 4-year-old child, and watch the gears start grinding

- Worrying about fair trade coffee, rather than how poor Americans are screwed over in the Appalachias and all of West Virginia
- Donating to help animals, or the poor in other countries, or animals in other countries, rather ignoring the homeless right across the fricking street (see "Los Angeles downtown Hoovervilles", "People For the Ethical Treatment of Humans" [a group that doesn't exist]).
- Thinking Che Guevera was a heroic revolutionary for the people, when he was in fact another murdering fascist thug the instant he got any power
- Thinking they're awesome for listening to gangster rap, rather than doing a damn thing about actual conditions in American ghettos
- Thinking that talking shit about The Man actually means they aren't, themselves, The Man (see Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Barbara Streisand, most of the executive-assistant-abusers in Hollywood)
- Capitalism is automatically awful
- New Age movements which pretend to be about spiritual betterment, when in fact they are materialist-oriented wealth-lust (see "The Secret") or low-grade pyramind (intentional spelling) schemes (see "Scientology")
- Smoking cigarettes is bad for you, but hemp will save the planet

This article is an example in balance. Conservative Christians are, in general, pretty easy targets. And I disagree with them in just about every one of their Fox-approved talking points. In fact it's a crime and a shame to me how people who are generally screwed over by the GOP's major backers, have had their well-deserved indignation channeled against the populist reforms which would most benefit them - more educational funds, more job-training funds, more restrictions on corporations, and publicly funded health care.

The last point is just craazy. Every single country in the world which has single-payer health care has a healthier population that lives longer AND PAYS LESS. Yet somehow it's off the table - thanks, Democrats.

Which leads to why it may be that Christian Conservatives, and conservatives in general, are in their own way right not to trust the Democrats. Unless Democrats actually stand up and DO things - such as FDR and Harry Truman - or they are at least extremely effective, such as Bill Clinton - they are only slightly better than the GOP. So why, in fact, would conservatives switch?

Now let's talk hippiecrits for a second. Easy targets also - and it's unfair to tar most hippies with this brush. A lot of the benefits we take for granted now, were fought for and achieved by the radical leftists of their day. That kids can go to school and not be worked to death in factories. That minorities can actually vote. That there is no longer a military draft. That there is any social security or medicare at all.

But hippiecrits exhibit a fundamental difference between talk and action, that sets my teeth on edge. Hippiecrits so *almost* get it that they are tragically frustrating. They earn my ire for how much they *say* they want a better world, but in fact take no meaningful action or plans at all.

For a prime example of this, see Ralph Nader. Boy, he says a lot of the exactly right things. But once he stopped forcing car safety and started running for President, what has he actually done? When has he helped a single other progressive candidate get into office, or helped a ballot initiative win, or performed any other meaningful action that actually caused physical changes in the real world? And how in Hell is he supposed to get anything done as President, if he doesn't have a party behind him??

As the USA grows one step closer to pitchforks and torches, those who present actual plans with measurable results will get a majority from both sides - just as President Obama did when he plausibly represented change. Now Obama is in the phase where he must demonstrably achieve those results - which I think he is realizing now. I wait eagerly for politicians of both parties to realize the same.