Lord of the Blings

Three Blings for Paramus Princesses under the sky,
Seven for Goths and Metalheads in FYE stoned,
Nine for Jersey Shore fashions doomed to die,
One for the Dork Lords in their parent's basement thrones
In the Land of Jersey where the Turnpikes lie.

One Bling to rule the Mall, One Bling to find them,
One Bling to bling the Mall and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Jersey where the Turnpikes lie.

...ok, all I really had was "One Ring to Rule the Mall". : )